watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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