As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
