I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
