I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize