shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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