Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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