Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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