Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
