dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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