feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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