I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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