In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's blow job season.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
