I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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