I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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