I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
