Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
