I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
