I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
