We named our party play list daddy issues
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
