This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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