She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
