Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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