Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
