I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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