If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
