i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
