Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
