people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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