I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize