people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
