Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
