1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
