Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
