Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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