Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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