Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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