Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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