And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just had sex on a roof
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize