I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
