I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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