I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
