she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
