Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
