we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
