physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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