what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
