Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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