Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
