Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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