I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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