ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
