I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
