we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
