fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize