): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
