I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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