She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
