we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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