Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
