she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
