Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
