No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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