I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
