somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
