the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
