the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
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