I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
